The Fear Sets In

Assuming that things go according to plan, in 3 weeks time I will have been riding for nearly 72 hours and most likely still have a little way to go.  Since Wednesday lunchtime I have been thinking about how long the 8 laps of Taupo ride will be.  I am very scared……each night (Wed/Thur/Fri) I have thought about how while riding there won’t be much sleeping. Will I be tough enough?  I hope so!

In high level sport I have often heard that there are 2 reasons why people are scared when they are about to race, scared because they haven't done the work, or scared because they have. I'm not completely sure which place my fear is stemming from....most of the hard training and long miles are over (that in combination with a more than full work load has contributed to the lack of posts), I have done what I can within the constraints of work and making sure that I don't break......but is it enough? Only time will tell.

Coping with stress – virtues of a good bike ride

The last couple of months have been stressful at work!  Fortunately, most of this stress has been the good kind of stress in that has resulted from me receiving more recognition, but it has also meant more responsibility and wanting to live up to my own expectations. Without this sort of stress I find that I easily become bored and feel unchallenged and my level of motivation drops.  However, during the first three days of last week I experienced the kind of stress that is 100% unproductive, the sort where you are all wound up about something that you have very little, if any control over.

While riding my bike home from work on Wednesday, I realised that one source of stress was simply arising from communication difficulties with a colleague and Thursday morning’s bike ride was filled with planning on how to at least change this one thing that I had some control over.  Interestingly, in the midst of resolving this stress we ended up having a bit of a conversation regarding our views on life, the universe, and everything, and while the book “hitchhikers guide to the galaxy” states the answer to this is 42, our answer was not so simple.

During our conversation I was asked “how do you deal with stress? How do you deal with big problems? How do you deal with catastrophes? How do you deal with the thought of death?” Without thinking or hesitation, I replied to each of these in turn – I ride my bike. At first, my colleague found this difficult to comprehend, and I’m not sure if I had him convinced by the end, that for me, being out on the bike, or really just being outside exercising is an incredibly effective reliever of stress.  After the conversation was over, I reflected a little on how easily those answers had come to me, and I decided that, having resolved the one bad stressor that I had some control over, the weather forecast for Friday was looking great, I would take the day off and ride my bike all day.  And that is exactly what I did!  For good measure, and because I have a bike race of 1280km coming up, I followed that up with a long run on Saturday and a bike ride of almost 9 hours on Sunday.  By Sunday evening I was very sleepy, but happy that my body felt great and more importantly I had refound my inner peace - the world looked a better place again. After a goodnights sleep, Monday morning came about and I had let go of all those unproductive stresses and was raring to tackle the things that I had control over.  AHHHHH.

Week tally of exercise:

Bike ~580km

Run ~5 hours

Feeling strong, not crazy fast, but my body handled the 3 bigger days of training well, I didn’t feel tired at the start of the days, I didn’t get progressively more tired, no major pains on Sunday while riding, felt solid all day.  8 laps of Taupo makes me scared, but I’m pleased with my current fitness level.

Planning Planning Planning

While out on a hilly road training run yesterday we met Perry Newburn out running around New Zealand (5000km over 71 days). What an inspiration chatting to Perry who is out there running to raise awareness and fund for the mental health foundation.  Details and a map can be found  here (Mental Health - Perry) and you can follow daily progress on facebook  Enzed Total Hose and Fitting Service Great New Zealand Run with Perry.  Perry was cranking it out, one km at a time – the mark of an ultra distance running, his brain breaking down the job to small manageable pieces.  The thought of riding around lake Taupo eight times (1280 km) has been weighing heavily on my mind over the last few weeks, so it was good for me to be reminded that it just needs to be broken down into manageable pieces.

Breaking it down into pieces not only applies to doing the actual riding itself, with any great adventure planning the logistics is an epic job in itself (Perry was commenting on this himself)!  Logistics for Taupo is something that has started to consume much of time while I am on my bike, sometimes it seems overwhelming, I need to remember, one step at a time.

 

1)    Who will be my support crew, it’s a long way, I’ll need quite a number of people, and it really takes a special sort of person to be support crew, it’s no easy job! 

2)    Accommodation, where to stay, it needs to be big enough to hold maybe 6 support people, be right on the route, it needs to have cell phone coverage (many areas around lake Taupo don’t), needs to not have steps as I won’t be able to get up them after a few laps have been ridden. And it needs to not break the bank….which pretty much rules out any accommodation in Taupo.  I also need to think where it would be most optimal to have support crew swap over, and a bed to have a little sleep in on occasions.  A rest stop just before a hard part of the course might make it harder to get back on the bike…….somewhere easier where I can ease myself back into riding might be more optimal.  So many things to think about

3)    Sleeping strategy – I have thought a lot about this, I think I need to come up with multiple plans for sleeping.  A plan is needed because it’s best to maximise sleep for the wee hours of the morning when I feel the lowest, but it’s hard to work out how to plan begin back at headquarters at that time of the day.  Plans for mobile sleeping are also needed, there are a few places around the loop where sleep can be had outside but undercover in case of rain.

4)    Writing a plan for support crew, clothes, food, hydration, what I need for all circumstances, I fear this is going to be a long document.  I also think there will be a need for some laminated check lists for support crews getting ready to head out for headquarters, when they get into the support car, and once they have finished their lap supporting. 

5)    Equipment – which bike, which wheels, which cycle shorts, what happens if the support car breaks down? What happens if my bikes break down, will the support crew be able to fix it – I guess I need a plan for that too!

 

The thoughts go on….so many things to work out, so many questions to be answered.

 

I need to remember to break it down into small manageable bits.

Long time no write!

Well it’s been a while. Inexcusable really, but since I wrote last I had to make the very hard and rather heartbreaking decision to not go to Mexico and the dream I have had for the last 10 years of competing in the Deca Ironman triathlon has had to be postponed again due to security concerns (see previous post).  I weighed up all the pros and cons for weeks.  I won’t bore people with the details, but there were a couple of final factors that “broke the camels back”.  The first of these was the reluctance of my support crew to come, something that I realised from that factor was that, for me, I want to do this right first time and have the total experience, and for me, having my friends supporting me there is almost as important to me as having my bike there…….I could do it if I had to, but it won’t be the experience that I want to have.  The final factor was far less deep and meaning full, I have been given a great opportunity career wise that I can’t afford not to take, this involves a couple of university courses from the postgraduate  diploma in management at Waikato university, and we have been told to expect a big work load start of Oct – mid November, if I were to go to Mexico, I would be gone the majority of that time – so with that, I decided to pull the pin.

But I can’t go from thinking of doing such an epic event to nothing at all, so I am refocusing and think I will attempt to be the first woman to complete the 8lap version of the Lake Taupo bike race (1240km).    This is pretty epic in itself, with the notable elevation every loop and the often harsh weather conditions, finishing will be formidable task in itself.  I have already started stressing about not having trained enough recently with mostly work (but also a short holiday) having seen me travelling almost every week since the end of June (and away again next week).  Hopefully the big training weekend planned for this weekend will put that stress to rest for a little while.

Stay tuned!

Even athletic women like to wear pretty dresses!

With all the hours that I spend out training, my wardrobe contains a lot of, lycra based, fast drying, wicking clothing suited well to running, cycling, kayaking for hours at a time.  At work a lot of cotton is worn, and although my parents instilled in me the importance to wear clean and tidy clothes, I have never had either the fashion sense or the “clothes shopping gene” that so many women are blessed with. Let me loose in a bike store, or sports clothes store and I feel right at home, but other than that, until recently I have considered shopping for clothes a necessary evil – an activity that is to be avoided at all costs!!!

Fortunately I have recently discovered that, although fraught with potential disaster, I really do enjoy dressing up and looking smart, maybe not on a daily basis but for special occasions it is actually fun.  My first few shopping trips I enlisted the help of a master shopper as my own personal tutor, and success breeds success.  And it was during one of these trips, at a time where I was under pressure to buy my first cocktail dress that I discovered “Birds of a feather” by Annah Stretton in Hamilton.  Fuelled  by my success late last year, in March of this year I experienced something that I had never imagined, even in my wildest dreams. 

I bought a pretty frock by accident!!!  

I had just walked into Birds of a Feather to have a bit of a browse as I was in town and it was a bit early to go to dinner, and within 30 min had tried on “the perfect dress” and knee high leather boots (by Minx).  The frugal side of me said “you don’t need a new dress, you have a pretty dress from last year”, but as I looked in the mirror, the girly side of me said “but I love this dress, it makes you look so feminine, and so different”.  The girly side of me had an unexpected victory that day.

It was a good job that I had such a shopping success that day, because 4 weeks ago I was asked to speak about my science and how it will be important in farming over the next 20 year at the AgResearch Fielddays dinner, to an audience of academics and industry leaders that are involved in New Zealand agriculture.  Before I had even contemplated what I would say in my 7 min time slot, I knew EXACTLY what I would be wearing.

The dinner was lovely, I managed to keep my nerves under control until my speaking slot after the main course, and then I got up on stage feeling nervous, it was a big deal to speak in front of such prominent people and explain my field of epigenetics to a group of mostly non-scientists.  But at the same time, I loved how my dress and boots made me feel so powerful, and after a deep breath I started……..the rest was sheer enjoyment, the audience responded well – whether or not it was from what I was saying, or because of the clothes, who knows.  But 5 days later I am still on a high from the experience.

Because most people only ever see me in lycra, I figure I had better include some pictures!!!

I am second from the left with AgResearch CEO, Young farmer of the year and Sharemilkers of the year

THE BOOTS in action - a pretty frock and some boots make any speech better!

All those things I learnt in toastmasters about hand and body movement to create a memorable speech were put into practice!

Deca Triathlon and Travel Warnings

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine (Dr George Wortley) posted this on his face book page:

“Will be leaving early in the AM for Mexico and the Tarahumara Indians. David Horton is going with me. It is getting increasingly difficult to find helpers to go with me due to the Drug Wars. Why would 49 decapitated bodies in the road discourage anyone.”

It reminded me that Mexico, the location of the Deca Triathlon is anything but a safe place.  Sure many of the murders are those involved in the drug wars, but it is so very easy for innocent bystanders to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Since then I have been spending a significant amount of time deciding if the risk of going to do the Deca Triathlon is worth the risk! 

George has visited Copper Canyon and the Tarahumara Indians many times over many many years, starting well before the Born to Run craze of the last few years.  He is an incredibly kind hearted man that treks many miles to take not only food but also his incredible medical skills to see to their ailments as it is the only time they are able to see a doctor.  I know that George and ultra distance legend David will bring a lot of good to these communities.  And for them, because of their good hearts, the risk that they face traveling through remote and not so remote regions is far out weighed by the good that they will do.

But for those of us heading to Mexico for ourselves, and our own goals, is it worth it?  In reality the chances of being caught up in the drug wars is slim, Jorge the race director puts on a great race, he picks athletes up from the airport, the race is in a family park where we will be for the majority of the time, but that’s not to say that by some unlucky random chance, some group won’t decided to make a statement with a bunch of international crazies riding and running around a park for days on end. 

The logistics of organizing myself to get to the Deca Triathlon are hard enough as it is, I have already put my heart and sole into training and organizing.  My bike maker Rob English has taken the time in his busy schedule to whip me up a new bike.  It would be terrible to call off this epic mission, as it is very much part of who I am now.  The thought of just doing the Deca is immense and the commitment to pay up the entry fee a big one…..it’s hard enough without the worry of what might happen outside of the actual racing.  Yesterday I spent much to the 7 hours on my bike pondering such factors….the conclusion that I came to was…if the Deca Triathlon was in a location without travel warnings, I would now enter in a heartbeat – and the only thing stopping me now is the worry of those drug cartels in a country that I am unfamiliar with and don’t speak the language.

What to do?  Would going and racing this race be selfish?  It’s not only my safety at stake but also that of my support crew.  Or are these travel warnings over dramatizing the danger to Joe average innocent public?  

Or is this just another challenge to an already epic goal?  

Sri Chinmoy 50 mile (80.4km) Race report

  Achieving self transcendence through running!

The Sri Chinmoy marathon team web site says “Sri Chinmoy, founder of the Sri Chinmoy Marathon Team, spent his life vividly demonstrating how sports can be a powerful means to unlock the true potential of the human spirit”

While many will laugh at the mention of seeking self transcendence, since signing up for this race I have spent many of my training hours thinking about it – and it turns out that I need to add “seeking self transcendence” to the list of reasons why I undertake ultra-distance racing.

My running has been a mixed bag the last couple of months – and that’s really how the Sri Chinmoy 50 miler turned out as well.  Tightness in my calf muscles has been plaguing me for the last 6 months, some days it’s better, some days it’s worse.  This has added an extra challenge in training and racing – the thought of running 80km with legs that don’t want to work worried me in the week before the race, even though this was to be more training than racing.  Two km loops in Hagley Park, excellent DecaTriathlon training! It also proved to be a good chance to do a lot of thinking about self transcendence.

The race started out in enough light that headlamps were not necessary, but even before the first of 40 loops my calf muscles began talking to me.  But 4km in they were fully tightened and causing pain……I was running a pleasing pace, with a nicely relaxed heart rate, but those legs, maybe they would loosen up a little once I was properly warm.  So I kept running.  The weather forecast had promised a nice, although cool day, and it started out perfectly.  But as Hagley park filled up with joggers, cyclists, families out for a walk, the weather did it’s upmost to drive as many of them home as possible, a dreary day with an ever strengthening cold wind followed.  The first 30km passed very quickly, I felt good, I enjoyed watching all the other park users, and other than my legs I felt great.  Heck, I thought to myself, all this training is really paying off well.  Even up to the marathon distance it seemed too easy (inspite of those legs), I began to contemplate what sort of time I could run just a marathon in these days??? 

Going around for another loop!

Then BANG all of a sudden at 42km my body started to rebel and I started to slide into a dark place. I started to feel terrible physiologically. A few laps later my first experience of gastrointestinal distress stared. Fortunately there were two toilets evenly spaced on the 2km circuit….and for a few laps I ran from toilet to toilet.  Thinking about the whole 80km with terrible calf pain and an upset tummy was too much – one lap at a time. Stopping was not an option, but I did question my reasons for doing this for sometime.  On the course there were a number of quotes from Sri Chinmoy about self transcendence, about pushing your self, self motivation, self discipline  - all things that I strive for.  Little by little, I convinced my mind that it was okay to feel the way I did, I began to accept it and not fight it, because I knew that testing myself is an important part of why I undertake these ultra-distance events.  And I took comfort in the loops, I set up little rituals, I had a lamp post where I stretched briefly, a region that I walked a little while the rest of the loop was a walking free zone, I had a zone where I alternatively clenched my fists to help the fluid that was accumulating in my hands move back into the lymphatic system, and I concentrated on …..well….self transcendence, I can’t really think of a better description.

Sometimes you just have to concentrate hard!

All of a sudden, after 25km of hard work, it all came right….well my calf muscles didn’t but somehow it was no longer a struggle, my pace picked up again, I was thoroughly enjoying it again, my stomach had come right and I was keen to finish up those last laps.  On hind site, if I were more religious I would probably say that at that point I had at least touched upon self transcendence.

The last few kms flew by, my great support crew of Nicol and Betty were there cheering me on every lap in spite of the cold wind. I lived with Betty as an undergraduate and she had seen me push myself to the limit academically to ensure top grades, could see that it was the same mental attitude that was needed here as was needed 20 years ago with my books. The lady who was counting my laps cheered for me with a wave and smile every single loop, it was like I had my own little cheerleading team – who wouldn’t love loops when you get this much support! 

And soon, with calf muscles that still feel many centimeters too short I had finished running 80.4km in little circles.  With just a little group to welcome me into the finish line, I was thrilled to have not only completely another good long training day, but happy to have reminded myself that when the going gets tough, you just have to get into a state of mind over matter, and the harder it is, the greater the feeling at the end will be.

Totally worth it!

Maybe Sri Chinmoy is right about self transcendence, that that is when the true peace, joy and satisfaction of ultra-distance racing is felt. Or perhaps as people we each need some activity that provides us with a state of mind where we can meditate to reset our brains.

Self Transcendence